ON WHAT IS USUALLY A “NO NEWS” DAY,A POTPOURRI OF PARABLES, PRINCIPLES, TRIVIA AND MIND-FOOD
Are governors, on average, smarter than Barack Obama? Of course they are.
Only 18 governors out of 50 (not 57, as B.O. once stated) have agreed to go along with his idiotic Obamacare. Those declining to do so include eight Democrat governors.
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“If I had my choice I would kill every reporter in the world, but I am sure we would be getting reports from Hell before breakfast."
– William Tecumseh Sherman, Civil War General
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Burt Prelutsky is fed-up with the useless and the parasitic ...
"If someone can please explain why we continue to literally house the U.N. and pay at least 25% of its expenses, I’d appreciate a call.
"Another large group of ne’er-do-wells are to be found in the liberal arts faculties of colleges and universities. They’re the self-righteous numbskulls who regard themselves as elitists for no other reason than that they managed to survive endless years of boring lectures.
"A recent study confirmed what most of us already assumed: those with the most education have the least exposure to those holding conflicting opinions.
"It’s no secret that these academic boobs hold themselves in extremely high regard and hold those who don’t see eye-to-eye with them in contempt. But what does an advanced degree actually amount to? What does a PhD in French literature of the 19th century or ancient Chinese ceramics actually prepare you for beyond parroting what you’ve been taught to those who have an equally narrow field of interest and, of course, boring the pants off the other guests at dinner parties?
"These are the same louts who are always yakking about diversity on the college campus, by which they merely mean a diversity of pigmentation, the very difference that the rest of us are supposed to ignore. When it comes to real diversity, even when it’s merely opinions voiced by students in their classroom, they are about as open-minded as Cotton Mather and Chris Matthews."
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A reader, Michael, offers a checklist that we should find frightening …
The theme is … “You know you live in a country run by idiots IF...”
You can get arrested for expired tags on your car but not for being in the country illegally.
Your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more of our money.
A seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for calling his teacher "cute" but hosting a sexual diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable.
The Supreme Court of the United States can rule that lower courts cannot display the 10 Commandments in their courtroom, while sitting in front of a display of the 10 Commandments.
Hard work and success are rewarded with higher taxes and government intrusion, while slothful, lazy behavior is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones.
The government's plan for getting people back to work is to provide 99 weeks of unemployment checks to not work.
You pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor defaults on his mortgage (while buying iPhones, TV's and new cars) and the government forgives his debt and reduces his mortgage (with your tax dollars).
Being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you "safe".
You have to have your parents signature to go on a school field trip but not to get an abortion.
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Actual headlines that prove we'll miss newspapers as they slowly die out ...
"Missippi's literacy program shows improvement" -- Note spelling of the state.
"Statistics show teen pregnancy drops off after age 25" – Let's hope so!
"Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons" – Surprise!
"Marijuana issue sent to joint committee" – They should know how to handle it.
"Homicide victims rarely talk to police" – As every cop knows.
"Study shows frequent sex enhances pregnancy chances" – We're amazed. Who knew?!
"Barbershop singers bring joy to school for deaf" – No doubt.
"Hospitals resort to hiring doctors" – We knew it would come to this.
"Man with 8 DUIs blames alcoholism" – Know thyself.
"Parents keep kids home to protest school closure" – That'll show 'em!
"Rally against apathy draws small crowd" – Remember the difference between ignorance and apathy: “I don't know … and I don't care.”
"Student excited dad got head job" – Kids today ...
-- Thanks, Barry --
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One way to beat airline luggage charges ...
Emulate the chap in China flying to Kenya. He WORE all his clothes aboard the plane. Sixty shirts, nine pairs of pants, with his other belongings stuffed in the pockets.
Now -- a moment's pause to pity the middle-seat passenger in that row.
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Okay, who did it? Who wrote this on the wall? – “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
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I join Dan Sorkin in passing along this seasonal greeting …
To all my Democrat friends ...
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2013, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
To all my Republican and independent friends ...
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
… and a special greeting to the people of Tucson Heart Hospital and Cornerstone Acute Care Hospital. They helped make possible a second Christmas that many medical experts said I'd never see.
|"...and now, if you'll excuse me..."|